Today

June 25th, 2008 by Rainey

Today you fought sleep with the heart of a warrior.

Your eyes would grow heavy and you would rest your head on my chest only to reel back as if you were only pretending…only playing your own game of peek-a-boo.  Your eyes still closed you would lift your head and hum, reminding me that you weren’t quite there yet.  If you had anything to do with it sleep wouldn’t be your destination at all.  But I saw it all, love.  Your eyelashes as they began to sweep your cheeks.  The loll of your head as it grew heavy.  The loosely curled fingers as they finally came to rest on my arm.

Sometimes the phone would ring and you would wake up, instantly alert.  Sometimes you would lay back on my chest and run your fingers through my hair.  You’d pull my forehead down to yours and begin to giggle.  Which made me shake with quiet laughter.  Back to square one.

Other times someone would poke their head in my office door to give me a message.  “Don’t worry!” you seemed to say, “I wasn’t sleeping!  Look, I can be charming!” as you flashed them your open-mouthed, toothless grin.  Charming even when exhausted.  At least when company comes over.  With me you slowly begin to fall apart, bumping my shoulder with your head, crying weakly and sometimes sobbing at the unfairness of it all.

The beauty and wonder of the world and the uncontrollable drag of weariness war within you as you valiantly try to wrench your eyes open even as the tides of sleep begin pulling them closed.

Finally you laid down in your bassinet and rolled over.  Sleep had won.  At least for this round.  My sweet one, I know you will wake to fight again another day.

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