Letter to Zeke: 22 months

October 30th, 2009 by Rainey

Dear Zeke,

You turned 22 months old on October 13.  Perhaps you are wondering why I am so late in writing you this letter.  But you should know by now that your momma is just no good at keeping up with these things!

One of the major things that happened this month is that you spent your first night at home without me all night.  You and your dad had a great time together while I took a group of middle school girls on a trip to Baltimore for a theologically questionable girl’s conference.  (Sometimes, you will learn someday, you inherit “traditions” when you take a job.  “Traditions” are notoriously hard to break…and must be done with skill and good timing.  I have managed to break most all the traditions I had major problems with in the youth ministry at our church long ago.  But for some reason the Revolve Tour WILL.NOT.DIE.  Though it sometimes makes me want to.)  Back on topic.  Sorry.  Anyways, you spent a lovely weekend with your dad, for whom you slept through the night, ate a muffin at Panera for breakfast, and generally had a good ol’ time.  So that was good and assuaged the mommy guilt a bit for me.

You have hit a lovely age where you can verbalize most all your thoughts/emotions/interests, etc.  You know when mommy is ‘sad’ or when you are ‘happy’ or when the characters in some picture book or another are ‘scared’ or ‘angry’…you tell me you are ‘scared’ sometimes and crawl into my lap for hugs.  Which is very sweet.  You also do this awesome thing where, when I am sad or overwhelmed, you cup my face in your hands and stare into my eyes and give me kisses and tell me to ‘be happy.’  The other day when I was not feeling well, you demanded from the back seat, “No!  BE HAPPY, tistin.” ((God.  I sound like a complete drag.  I am not always sick/sad/depressed/overwhelmed.  Despite how this story makes it sound.  Back to the topic at hand.  Again.))

Which brings me to my next point.  Seriously, dude.  You have got to stop calling me tistin.  It is very adorable and you are quite proud of knowing my real name, but just as I have made the case that calling me “MOM” as your aunt katie likes to call me in your presence is not something that should happen until you are an annoying teenager, calling me by my first name is not something that should ever happen.  Ever.  Because I want to be your mommy.  Period.  Or mama.  But those should be the only options on the table.  You now also like to sometimes call your daddy “saddy”  which is also cute.  But equally troubling.  In that you are trying to individuate much too quickly for your mommy’s heart to take.

You are now creating pretty much entire sentences.  You like to say, “Daddy bath, sweaty, running.” Or “I want it!”  or “Zip coat now” or “BE HAPPY, Tistin!”  sigh.  Growing up too fast.

A few gems from this past month or so.  The other day you clearly had pooped.  And I told you we must change your diaper.  And that it was gross to be sitting in your own poop.  You stopped running back and forth from throwing all your stuffed animals from the toy box into the crib, looked directly at me, puzzled, and said, “Stand up, poop.”  Clearly, mother, it is fine to stand up in my own filth.  I just won’t sit down.

Another fantastic moment the other night was when you began pretending to cry, laying face down in your crib.  Then you would jump up and say, “Happy, now!” and then point to the bed and say, “Cry, there.”  Then do it all over again.  I told you that the crib wasn’t a sad place and that maybe you could laugh instead of cry.  So you laid back down, face first, and fake laughed.  It was hilarious.  You crack me up!

You have become very enamored with houseguests of late.  When Mark and Chandra visited you were smitten.  And you still talk about them.  You remember going to the pumpkin patch with them, so each time we pass the pumpkin on our front step you say, “Pumpin.  mahk.  shannra.”  It is very cute.  You also had a great time with your Uncle Tony recently, giving him kisses and hugs whether he liked it or not.  :)

We have begun to see what it will be like to live with a toddler for the next few years as your assertion of will has become much stronger.  You have literally screamed and cried when we have had to remove your pajamas and wet overnight diaper to dress you in the morning because you love your jammies so much.  You will grab your diaper and try to hold it on. “ONNNN  ONNNN!!!!’ and then when we put the clean one on you (we being the operative word, because neither of us can wrangle you on our own when you are like this) you will shove at it and say just as vehemently “OOOFFFFF  OFFFF!!!!”  I know it is hard to have so little control over some things in life.  But we do let you pick out your clothes, pick out your bowls and plates and utensils, pick out your cup and your drink, decide what to eat for breakfast, which car to drive sometimes, etc. etc.  You are in control of the things that we can let you control.  So you’ll just have to trust that we are going to do the right thing in every other event.

And we will try our best to do just that.  We love you, you know!

Mommy.  Or Momma.  Not Tistin.

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